Panic! Prayer!! Peace!!!

Panic! Panic!! Panic!!! 

Fear! Fear!! Fear!!! 

"It is evidential that Panic is linked with the neurones and the senses, having to quickly react to certain things or a defence action the brain puts in place to secure itself... Sometimes it could be overwhelming for the brain to handle, other times it could just cause the victim to make irrational decisions. This was evidently seen in the clash that happened within Jos North Metropolis"-Mr Onyeulor  Paul

 The events of the last few days, almost a week now, has made me realize a lot of things. And I must confess even after praying for peace on the Plateau, I seriously panicked.

 I've discovered fear has different kinds; Fear of Failing, Fear of Disappointment, Fear of Death(eternal condemnation), Fear of the Unknown etc. 

  On the 2nd of October, my panic heightened when four of my friends decided to leave the hostel to different parts of the town. These are friends I always rushed to for moral support. We encouraged each other Spiritually, Morally, Physically, Financially etc.  When they informed me of their going, I felt broken.

  All these while, I've been the one scared, afraid, "faithless" but seeing the ones who are always quick to say "Amipat, do not be afraid or have faith" leave, I had doubts. 

Were my friends scared of the unknown? Were they really going to leave us behind? If they leave, who am I to stay back?

Looking further I saw them leave. But  looking around me I saw a friend who couldn't just go probably because we stayed back. This made me think.

 It's actually easily said than done.

It's easy to tell others "All is Well" when deep down I'm yet to convince myself that "All is Truly Well". 

It's easy to tell one "Do not be Afraid" when deep down I'm in a state of fear. 

 It's easy to feel that since Mr J has told me to have Faith, Mr J has all the Faith or to feel Mr J is a man full of Faith but little do I know it's actually a trying time for Mr J. 

 After reading/hearing different messages/hearsays' my heart rate increased, fear and sadness crept in but later on I found peace after praying; The Rosary.

Recently a friend reminded me of what I once told someone "friends and family might not always be there, but JESUS will be always".

A particular friend these few days has really helped. Stays almost through the whole day and spends part of the evening with us ensuring we're all doing okay but definitely won't stay forever. After saying "goodnight" or "take care of yourselves", I feel fine knowing fully well that JESUS is with us always.

  Nowhere is actually safe; Only God can keep us safe.

Ms Okoko Patricia writes from Jos, Nigeria.